We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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