I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
