Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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