your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
