I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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