Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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