why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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