how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my poor anus
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We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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