Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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