My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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