I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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