I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
