I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i think i have herpe
just one?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
