Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
