Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
