Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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