Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
