think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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