You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize