watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
