Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
