Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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