glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
