is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
