she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
