I'm really into asian looking animals
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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