I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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