dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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