Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I will pee on everything he values.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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