I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
