The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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