Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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