You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
