I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
