I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
last night I used snow as a chaser
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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