chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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