Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
