so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize