Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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