plz talk dirty to me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
