I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
