wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
