direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
