Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
