I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
