They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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