yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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