Me. At least after what I've been through.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
