I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we should paint friendship bongs
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