Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
