Nicole vs. Life
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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