Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize