Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize