She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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