yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
