Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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