two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
