not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well I just put wine in my tea
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
