Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
