That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
