i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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