I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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