These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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