I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I look better un-naked...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
